Don’t Neglect your Friends — A Simple Way
Some time ago a palliative nurse called Bronnie Ware wrote an article named “Regrets of the Dying”. In the article she outlines the 5 most common regrets of people who face death. It’s a rather unsettling read, but very worthwhile. Out of the five regrets one particular regret struck a chord with me. It’s the regret of failing to stay in touch with friends and thereby letting friendships fade. Mrs. Ware explains: “Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.” It obviously struck a chord, because I can see myself making this mistake. Big time. So, I did something about it:
I made a quick list of my close friends that I would like to stay friends with for a very long time (an interesting exercise in itself), then used the Boomerang Chrome extension to schedule two weekly Emails — one on Tuesdays, one on Fridays — to be delivered to my own Inbox containing that list of friends-to-stay-in-touch-with, very simply, like so:
Next to each one I added a “do now” link which lets me click through to Facebook or Gmail. The idea obviously being that this should serve as a simple reminder system which propels me to action. And I can happily report that it works (so far). Admittedly I could still do better, but it works in the sense that it has made a detectable difference to my being in touch with friends.
This is something I can very much recommend! And to make it a little easier for anybody else who would like to do it, I set up a Typeform system here: don’t-neglect-friends-system. In the first step you can add your Email-address, in the second you can add your friends-to-stay-in-touch-with list. I’ve programmed the setup to be done automatically after you submit, so the first reminder would be sent next Tuesday or next Friday, whichever comes first.
I think there are 2 reasons why this super-simple system has made a difference for me. One is that 2 reminders per week is enough to put something in my mind-space, but not so much that it becomes a nuisance. And secondly, a list of one’s closest friends really attracts one’s attention, meaning that each reminder is forceful enough to actually get a bit of a message across, past one’s BS filter. Overall this almost seems stupidly simple, but it also seems to work. For the interested, here the link to the Typeform again:
I hope you enjoy!
All the Best,
Johannes
You can also find me here on Twitter.
